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Śmiech z Oświeceniem, część 1 z 8

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(Going home.) What time? (Yes, I’m going home in two hours.) (I’m going home alone tomorrow.) Are you both going home? (No.) (Just him alone.) (My mom and I.) Just pointing at this and that. Aren’t you two going home to the same house? (No.) Why do you two look so alike, like brothers? (It was in a past life.) (In a past life.) In a past life, in a past life. Hey! You’re all going home, leaving me here alone? Oh my God! And you say you love me or whatever. You’re just saying that. (I’m still here.) You say you love me, but you’re going to leave me. It’s all lip service, I should know better.

You’re going home, guys? (Yes.) Who’s going home now? (Twenty-ninth.) Who’s going home? Here, no. Only you? What are you then? Going home to work? (Yes.) What kind of work? (Helping my mom at the [vegan] restaurant.) Oh, is that so? (Yes.) OK. Then it must be very busy. OK. It’s lucky you could come. Who’s going home? Raise your hand. Now? You’re going today? (Tomorrow.) Staying? Today? (Yes.) It’s time to go, right? Are you leaving now? A few hours, OK. A few hours. Alright, you can go now.

Time passed, huh. Thanks for coming. (Thank You, Master. Thank You so much.) I really love to see you, special, just a few, silly faces like you. Going home already. I shall miss you, guys. (I’ll miss you 100%.) (Oh. I’ll miss You so much.) I really shall miss you. (Oh!) Really, (Miss You too.) not just joking. (Miss You too.) Can you take a joke? (Can we stay after tomorrow?) Sure! You’re welcome. You stay as long as you want; I’m just going. (Stay!)

(Can You stay for New Years, Master?) Huh? (Can You stay for New Years? Come back for New Years?) I work... maybe I’ll come back for New Years. (Oh! Thank You!) Shhhh! I don’t know how long you’re staying? How long you’re staying? (Anything.) (I’m not sure.) A few days only. Right? Well, as long as you can cook, you can clean the house, it’s OK. Maybe I’ll come back for New Years. OK? (OK.) If you guys stay, if some of you can stay, but don’t quit your job for that. Don’t make your job in trouble for that. How many people are staying for New Years? If there’s a lot, maybe I’ll come back. But if it’s not a lot, then you just enjoy.

How many staying for New Years? (Yes.) (Master.) Just raise your hand, that’s it. New Year? (Yes.) Anybody stays for New Years? (Please stay.) Two, three, four, six, seven… Anybody staying for New Year? Raise your hand. No capito. Just a few people. Enjoy the whole weekend. All the French people will come. You fill the house anyway, you enjoy with them. If I come, it’s good. If I don’t come, it’s good. I’ll see you another time. What? (Oh.) (If You cannot come, it’s not good.) You no come, no good? (It’s not seeing You that is not good.) You no come, no good? (No, not saying that Master. No. no.) Then you no come. Then you come. (No, no, no. We mean if without You, it’s not the same.) Oh, my God. (Yes.)

What do I do for New Years? Eat again? I think I’m fat enough. (You look so beautiful.) Aulacese (Vietnamese), Chinese? (Chinese. Aulacese [Vietnamese].) Aulacese (Vietnamese) and Chinese mixed. When did you mix? (Together.) Together? I know you mixed together, but when? So, just a few people staying for New Years, right? Like eight people? Raise your hand again. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight people. Oh! Oh, so many! These are not staying until New Year’s, going tomorrow. Right? (Tomorrow or today…) Tomorrow or the day after. Right? Like this, you understand. (Yes.)

(Master…) Hi. (Maybe You remember the Ice Monk?) The what? Oh, yeah, is he gone? (Yes, he gave his best regards to You.) Oh, did he not come? (Yes.) He could not come, huh? (Yes.) OK, thank you. Please say the same. (Yes.) I love that guy. He’s lovely because he’s very green. (Yes.) He doesn’t eat anything, he doesn’t harm any. The green monk. (Yes.) Tell him he’s a very green monk. You understand “green monk”? Somebody translate. Green. (Green.) (Since he does not eat any food, he’s very pure…) Green is right now very (Pure.) economize. No. Green! Green in the term of climate-change green. Because he only eats ice, so he never cuts a tree, never do anything. He’s very green. Very green. (Yes.) Yeah, he doesn’t cut trees. Yeah? (Yes.) Doesn’t eat trees. Very green.

Hey guys, you like it. Oh, I wish we could sit all together and then you can look at me. I can look at you, I mean. Oh, well. I also don’t like to go, but what am I staying here for? The house is empty. I mean, and you have to go home to work. But next time. When we have the big hall? (Oh, yes!) Then we can all sit together. (Oh, yes!) Yeah. OK. Maybe some of you that could come back before, when after the house is draft proof, some of you come back to do painting, everybody can come. (Yes. OK.) And I’ll be there every day, telling you jokes. (Wow.) We’ll have like a working retreat then, huh? (Yes.) Yeah, yeah. A lot of work. (Work.) (Right.) OK, but don’t worry too [much] (Yes.) it will be our place, you can... everybody can see everybody. (Yes.) Even from very far, but better than this. (Yes.) Things are getting better all the time.

(Master, how are You?) Hallo, baby. Who’s in there? Westerners, yeah? (Westerners.) How come the others don’t come here? And all Westerners sit outside? Tell them they can come back here. Oh, we must check it out, baby. Four, five, six, at least. That’s it. Come in here. How come you’re hiding here? (I don’t know.) Are you OK? (I feel OK.) Why? (Because of what You said.) What did I say? I what? I lied!? (No, You were right.) I am the Light? (You were right.) Yeah, I know. Master knows everything. Don’t you know? (But it’s not good enough, is it? For me.) Not good enough for you? (I know You know that I should be able to do better.) No, never mind. You have your job and you have your stuff.

OK, I’m here, guys. Very nice, very nice. Now that I wear just simple clothes, you want to take a picture. And the ones before are the ones for sale. These are just for home. (You’re always beautiful, Master.) (You are always beautiful.) No, it is for sale. You don’t understand. For the clothes, it’s for sale. (Oh, oh, oh!) This is just for home [wear]. This doesn’t make money, so doesn’t need a picture. When I wear glamorous and real design, my design jewelry, then should take a lot of pictures for advertisement. People buy the clothes. And we make money, money, honey. These are simple but never mind. People also like to wear it. (Yes, I know.)

I love you guys. Come, come there. Maybe there’s a little more room here. Come over. Come, anybody. Come here, here, here. There’s some room here, old man. We all sit together, it’s very compatible. And you could sit some here, just squeeze in together. OK? Come, come, come, come. Yeah, squeeze it, never mind. Come in, more. Anybody who can sit more, come in. The one crying outside, come in. Here, there is There's a place here. There’s a place here. Come, come, come. Here, old woman. Three old people sit together. There you are, sit there. One more place. (One more.) One more. Just squeeze in. OK? Few minutes, I’ll be out. Even if I talk one hour, it seems like a few minutes to you anyway.

So OK, we have some more jokes, OK, guys? Just to laugh ourselves silly. I don’t know what else to do to cheer you up. (Here comes an old woman.) Old woman? Oh, you really look too old for us. Yes, yes. I am old.) Come over here, over here. There is the camera, they will scold you. (Thank You.) OK.

On the way home from church, a little boy asked his mother, “Is it true, Mom, that we are made of dust?” “Yes, darling.” “And do we go back to dust again when we die?” “It’s true also, darling.” “Mom, then come and look under my bed. There’s a person that’s just been born or just dead?” Brroom, brrroom. OK.

Talking about the subject of genetics, a biology teacher cited an example of producing a fish(-person) with red and white stripes by crossing a red fish- with a white fish(-person). And then one of the kids raised his hand and said, “Sir, then can we get a panda(-person) by crossing a white bear- and a black bear(-person)?” A panda(-person) – black and white.

John went to visit a friend in the hospital. In the garden, he was curious to see that two doctors were crawling on the ground looking for something. So, he went forward and asked, “What have you dropped? Can I help?” One of the doctors looked up and said, “Nothing really. A patient who is a loan shark needs a heart transplant. We are looking for a stone of suitable size.” Terrible.

One day… (Yes.) Another one. One day the teacher is bluffing in class again: “Then in the dictionary of my life, there is no such a word as ‘fail.’” So came a feeble voice from a student, “Sir, you may use mine.” My dictionary.

The sermon was very long this Sunday morning and little Johnny was getting more and more restless. And so suddenly, in a whisper, but very loud into his mother’s ear, he blurted out, “If we give him the money right now, Ma, will he let us go?” Kids, you know, they don’t lie. They’re simple, straightforward.

One day a tiger(-person) saw a beautiful and fat snake(-person) and an unprecedented appetite rose from his stomach. So, the tiger(-person) took strides to run after the snake(-person) and in a hurry, the snake(-person) got into a river too quickly. So, the tiger(-person) had to wait patiently by the riverside, hoping the snake(-person) would resurface. After a long, long, long time, a turtle(-person) came onto the bank and the tiger(-person) caught it immediately and said, “Ha, you tried to escape? I can recognize you even if you put on a new vest.” I don’t know how he’s going to eat the turtle(-person). It would be too hard, no?

Photo Caption: “It's Good to Be in the Favorite Element!”

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